trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
