dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
