i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
