he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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