He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
