i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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