That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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