The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
