somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
