In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
