he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
