just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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