he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
