i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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