great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
did you just send me my own nude
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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