So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
