Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
