Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
