Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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