I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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