so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
