when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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