Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
