This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
