ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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