wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
