please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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