One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
