Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
