Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
