If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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