Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
