is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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