you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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