I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
