I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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