I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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