You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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