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I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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