I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
