I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
