this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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