Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize