dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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