I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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