So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
