I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
