he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
