i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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