I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize