video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
