He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She bit a glass in half.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
