why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
