i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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