apparently the secret to your success is patron
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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