its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
