You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
