i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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