i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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