Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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