At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
