That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
