I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
