You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
