My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
