i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize