Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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