We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
