xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
