i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
