so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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