is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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