I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize