yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
