hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
