my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
