I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize