we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize