I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
