She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize