john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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