someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
