I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
