They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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